It's getting better

Work. 30 minutes until me and the rest of the government runs from the building for the stat holiday tomorrow.

First of all: UGH. Beside me, EW is regaling KW with some long convoluted story about something to do with literature. Usually the story ends uncomfortably. The two of them are always floundering for the right way to close thier conversations. EW lingers. KW doesn't particularly want him there, but EW strokes his ego and brings up topics he knows are of nterest to KW. It's awkward.

(Now they're talking poker, both of them suck at it, btw).

Second of all: glorious. Beautiful day. Nice breeze. Warm. I'm going to walk home. It's a long, long walk (wish I could helicopter Skittles in for it, would be very convienent because she could use a good walk every day of the week!!!). I am so looking forward to it. Why? Because I am not fitness walking home. I am strolling. I have given myself permission to amble. Which, I never do. I am always racing or trying to go as fast as possible. Today, it's all about enjoyment. I'm not watching the other walkers go by and trying to match thier pace and determination. Uh, unh. Nope. Today I am chillaxing the way home. All the way home!

Something about deciding to lose 100 + lbs last night was very liberating. Exactly what I needed. Why settle for 50, 70 or 80. What I want is to see what life is like if I live it to the fullest, so why hold back?

Of course if it doesn't happen, alright. I can't control the universe. But I will try to make this happen. I need a goal, something big to hang onto. And it's not about losing the weight. It's about something else that I can't define. Something to do with choosing life, as dumb as that sounds.

I just worry about